Online dating for dummies

  

When single people talk smack on online dating, or are hesitant even try it, I totally get it.  I mean, before I found my man, I went on a lot of online dates.

I was schmoozed, offended, almost died of sheer boredom, and creeped out more times than I care to remember.

60+ dates will do that to a girl.  

So, using my expert experience, I have a few tips for those interested in dipping their toes into the pool of world wide web mingling:

#1 Keep your mind and options open.

I know we all have our non-negotiables, but if yours consists of blond haired, blue eyed, 6’3, 100K per year, then get real, homie.  Just like non-online dating, decide which things are most important to you, and let the rest go.  Mr. Perfect does not exist.  Mr. Perfect for you, does, somewhere.  And keep in mind, those online photos can be really misleading, which leads me to point #2…

#2 Don’t judge a person by their highly editable cover.

No, I’m not saying this because I’m a teacher who believes life is unicorns and rainbows and kumbayas.  I’m saying this because the worst, most boring and insulting date I ever went on, was with one of the most attractive people I met online.  Yeah, looks are important, I agree, duh.  I’m just saying, Photoshop does wonders.

#3 Be open to…whatever!

I have friends who are online dating strictly to find their husbands and wives.  And I get this, I really do.  But a date can read your husband seeking status in the first 5 minutes. Just chill out, make a new friend, and have fun. There will be plenty of time to run Mr. Right through the husband wringer on future dates.

And if all else fails, take my word that your online dating stories, both good and bad, will make great banter for friends and family for years to come.

She’s baaack…

When you’ve taken a year sabbatical, where, exactly, do you pick back up?

Do you pretend like you never left?  And just jump right in?  Give a recap?

Okay, lemme back up.

For starters, I didn’t take a “sabbatical”, per say.

I quit.

Why did I quit, you ask?  Well, I got a nasty case #3 of strep throat, which knocked me on my butt and into the hospital.  But that only lasted for one week.

What about the other 51?

I spent it ferociously attacking my second year of teaching.

And falling madly in love with my best friend.

Plus, I attempted to figure out this whole thing called “adulthood”.

And was busy navigating my way through…life.

Yeah, life happened.  That is why I quit.

But after some newfound friends mysteriously discovered this blog a few weeks ago (Google, DARN YOU!), and creeped the crap out of it, they asked, “ So why’d you quit?!”

And I gave the strep story.  And heard crickets.

Alas, here we are 52 weeks later.  My second year of teaching is coming to an end, my love has moved to follow his dreams (miss you, beb!), I’ve successfully figured out adulthood (sarcasm), and am wading through the shark infested waters of life.

So please, rejoin me.  I’ve missed you all so much, I’ve really missed writing, and can’t wait to quit this quitting.

The long and short of it

I bought this high-low dress for my brother’s wedding, only to realize it felt overall too casual and scandalously short for the event.

So, I did what anyone would do, and pinned it over, stuck a peacock feather on it, and called it a day.  And actually, I think I preferred the makeover over the original!

Maybe I’m the next Michael Kors?

That was a joke.

{high-low sheer dress: F21} {purple tank undredress: F21}{denim wedges: Target} {beaded leather belt: thrifted} {rose gold watch: Michael Kors}  

Forks and Corks

Ever since I got my big girl job last spring, I decided to be a member of a local food donation charity.  Now, I know they get a lot of flack because supposedly the CEO makes 9 kajillion dollars, but all I know for certain is they provide my students with fresh food on the weekends.

And without said food?  Some of my precious darlings would go hungry.  And this?  This is reason enough alone for me to support them.

So, when I saw the annual food and wine gala was coming up with some of Kansas City’s best restaurant and drink purveyors, I mean, it was a no-brainer.  Stuff myself silly with my ma on scallops and macarons AND support my kiddos?!

Done and done.

{polka dot sweetheart dress: Target} {gold heels: Aldo} {golden waist belt: gift} {wooden bracelets and necklace: gifts from gran} {golden clutch: Michael Kors} {rose gold watch: Michael Kors}  

See these pieces restyled here:

With a lil’ help from my friends

So, right before I was checked in for the bubonic plague, I did what every “good” teacher does and made myself go to work.

As I sat on my teacher’s stool whispering and whimpering through descriptions of Vasco de Gama and Amerigo Vespucci, I broke down in tears.  Between the frustration of being sick, to the rampant, albeit ineffective guzzling of Chloraseptic, I was just so done and so over being ill, ya know?

Just then, one of my sweethearts raised his hand, and politely asked to use the restroom.  Utterly shocked he had the gall to request to pee in the middle of my embarrassingly honest moment, I obliged.

Moments later, he walked back in with my assistant principal, who told me to dry my eyes, kicked me out, and forced me to take a sick day.

Sure, I can move away from my folks, have my big girl job, and pay zillions in doctor bills.  Really, I can assert my independence and adulthood any way I want.

But there will always be someone there, wanting to take care of me.  Even if it’s my 12-year-old darling of a student who’s wanting saving my sanity.

And my vocal chords.

{floral tank dress: Kohl’s} {golden heels: Aldo} {purple fishnets: Gap Outlet} {rosegold watch: Micheal Kors}  {28 bangles: F21}

See these pieces restyled here:

    

Lessons learned from the hospital

I may or may not have spent the weekend holed up in the nearest hospital bed, watching endless HGTV, and enjoying zero hours of sleep.  So, after my extensive, 30-hour hospital experience (who knew strep could be so brutal?!), I’d like to share with you a few lessons:

• If the super cute nurse doesn’t ever start laughing at your 7am, steroid induced jokes, stop making said jokes
• When the radiologist asks if you’re pregnant, and you decline, she will ask you 73.5 more times and threaten to make you sign a waiver
• Low-sodium beef broth is from the depths of Hades
• Unfortunately, the aforementioned steroids will NOT make you beef up like Ahnold
• Mas never, ever, stop being mas.  Thanks, ma!

No worries folks, all is well in the Chic Teach household, and I’m pretty sure my roommate will come with 75 feet of me now.  Win-win!

What were YOU up to this weekend?!  Please tell me it involved more than egg souffles and HGTV

{coral t-shirt: Gap} {golden wedges: Target} {purple pants: TJ Maxx} {rosegold watch: Micheal Kors} {parrot scarf: gift from gran} {28 bracelets: F21}

See these pieces restyled here:

    

Oh, what a day…

My.  Oh my.

Saturday was a day I shan’t soon forget.

Remember my impulsively purchased trip to Madison?

Well, after a grossly early wake-up call, I jet-setted to the airport with my ma.  We made our flight at departure time, and were greeted by approximately 150 sets of dagger eyes.  As the radio announcer captain was making his announcements, I realized that our flight was headed to a different airport.

As in, I’d booked our tickets to the wrong city.

Channeling my inner Macaulay Culkin, we rolled with it, and made our cross-state trip to our appropriate destination.  During our impromptu mini-roadtrip, I realized our concert tickets were somewhere between my ma’s house and my house.

Did I mention this all happened by 8:00 am?

I did what only I could do, and ate the world’s largest everything bagel to soothe my worried, stressed out mind. And only a few hours later, I was basking in the sunshine of a very relaxed, friendly, and beautiful city, with the best friend a girl could have.

My ma.

{Jewel neckline dress: hand-me-down} {blue wedges: Target} {skinny golden belt: thrifted} {rosegold watch: Micheal Kors} {bracelets: F21}